“Interesting. You were here a year ago to the day, within ten minutes. Wow!” the ER nurse exclaimed to Kristin and I this morning. I replied, “Great, so may I have a ‘repeat business’ discount?”
Many of you have walked with Kristin and I on our journey with cancer. It is hard to believe it has been four and a half years since my initial surgery to remove a tumor in my right leg. Due to the nature of the surgery and tumor removal, I have nerve damage in my right leg which reduces my range of motion and balance.
Over the past four plus years, I have taken a few spills, fracturing my foot once, and at this time last year I fractured my ankle. These incidents have actually been more physically and emotionally taxing on us than my cancer.
I would be lying if I said I was fine. I am disappointed. I am discouraged. I feel dumb. And I feel (once again) like a burden to those around me. As I add up the time over the past four-plus years, I have spent almost an entire calendar year laid-up due to cancer and broken bones. By laid up, I mean not being able to drive, not being able to do the simple things like yard work, or shoveling snow. I again feel helpless.
In light of this helplessness, it is once again is driving me to my knees (metaphorically of course). I want to scream, “Why God?” Then with the encouraging words of scripture I am reminded of what Paul says to Timothy in 1 Timothy chapter six.
6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 11 But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
‘Godliness with contentment is great gain.’ Really? Really? I won’t be walking normally for over six weeks! Why should I remain content? I am in pain! However, I do remain encouraged. I have a great family, great friends and most importantly a great God who meets all of our needs. I am again reminded of these simple truths. I just wish I did not have to break something once a year to be reminded of them. I also wish it was Groundhog Day so I could have a do-over.
How do you experience contentment in your struggles and disappointment?
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